Is it Love
I was talking to an old friend of mines the other day who I had not talked to in years. She has been in a relationship for the past five years. During this five year relationship there has been a lot of issues, especially with regards to infidelity. She has admitted to cheating on her boyfriend a few times and he has cheated on her as well.
After taking in everything she told me about their relationship, I asked her a simple question. I asked her was she in love with her boyfriend. She told me that she was in love with him, but she was not happy.
She proceeded to go on deeper on why she was not happy and how she was close to leaving him. Besides her being in love with him, what was keeping her in the relationship was that he paid half the bills and that they had a child together.
It seemed as if the latter two were the real reasons she was staying in the relationship.
After we were done talking, I began to think. Was she really in love with her boyfriend or was she just comfortable with the way things were? They were both constantly hurting each other, but she claimed she was in love. I can tell you one thing that I know about love, it feels good. It does not hurt.
Many people feel that just because they have been together for a while, that love is still there. Sometimes it is the comfortability of the situation, such as finances being taken care of, two parents in the household raising of a child together, and companionship in general that keeps us in bad relationships. While all of those things are important and comfortable, your happiness is usually the sacrifice.
It takes real courage to take a step back, truly look at your situation, and decide to make a change. That change does not necessarily mean leaving your mate. It can mean working on not hurting each other, but truly loving each other.
Ultimately it is my friend’s life and there is no judgment from me. She has to live it the best she sees fit. If you are in an unhappy relationship, ask yourself these two questions. Are you in love, or are you just comfortable? Being honest with your answers are the first steps into getting things heading in the right direction, if they are not already.